I dont know how to put this..and am kinda tired and sleepy but not sleeping..
and i know i will not be able to say it the way i want to either on the phone now…or tomorrow morning..
so..writing this mail..
will try to keep it short and concise..
You need your space..and ur time..
I understand that..
But i am not in a mode where i can be partially disconnected from you..
i am sorry..
I am unaware about what’s happening in ur life..and likewise you with mine…
I dunno if u are angry that we havent spoken at all..atleast not much over phone the last coupla weeks..
You seem to be totally ok with it..but i wasnt..
I was having fun with whatever i was doing – work and colleagues,friends and the wedding..and everything else in between..
but all the time..not too comfortable about me not spending even a few mins talking to you EOD..
I dunno..guess i have been too over-dependent on you.
worse,it bothered me..that although this was the case with the both of us before,it doesnt seem to be the case with you now.
I have no idea how/when you are travelling,when’s the next time we meet..your life – when who what nothing.
no answers..
You want it..yes.which was why i decided to stay quiet…
but EOD/maybe once in 2-3 days,i expect a call and a chat..atleast..
You are not in the mode now for that..and i am ok with it..
I am also ok with me being in that mode..
and u wanting it,cos it’s so important to you..
I dont see how i can be partially disconnected and then suddenly get a call when you are free..i was very restless and wanted to get back home asap so that i talk to you before 10..so that we atleast do that one chat..thinking you are feeling irritated at not being able to talk..for the last n days..
Please do not get irritated with the words i use here..i am cool with whatever you do..i respect it..it’s ur life..you have handled it much better than i ever have,my life..and i mean it..trust me,i do..
I love you baby..
I am sorry for whatever I did today..but i cant say sorry all my life,like you always say..
May i suggest something..
I know you love me..You know i love you too..
and we have to go thru this period of not being together for sometime..we know that too..
This partial disconnect is not working…atleast for me..
May i suggest a complete disconnect..a break..for sometime ??
that way i dont create any complications in ur life..you are cool and i am cool too..
i dunno..hope you dont misunderstand me..
